Pride of the Pack
by Iustus Fidelis
Summary: I always felt like Leah got a raw deal in the Twilight saga, so I set about giving her the ending I felt she deserved. Set post 'Breaking Dawn.' Reviews appreciated and welcome. Part 1 of a planned 3-4
1. Break Down, Break Through

I paced restlessly back and forth beside the river outside the Cullen place, a low growl emanating from the back of my throat. It made me sick to see it all. The Cullen pairs were celebrating their non-event victory and Jacob was pathetically fawning over the half human half leech abomination. Why didn't he just roll over and let her rub his belly? Imprinting or no imprinting, I was disgusting and embarrassed for our ancestors: what would they think? I paused my internal diatribe and looked over into the house. With my wolf senses I could see and hear everything. I saw Edward with his arms wrapped around his heroine wife. I saw Seth lingering around them like some kind of neutered house-pet, and I saw Jacob holding the half-breed, fussing over it like it was some kind of living doll. Their happiness burned a hole in my heart, opening old wounds and refreshing old pain. Jacob was supposed to be the one to understand. He wasn't supposed to become one of them- the irrationally happy. I dropped my head and resumed slinking back and forth beside the river. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. It was down right pathetic. Generations of proud strong wolf blood had been handed down to us, and the men of our pack squandered it chasing children around, lovesick and mewling.

Suddenly the celebration inside hushed and I looked back up to the Cullen house. They had all stopped, and they were all staring at me. What the hell were they looking at? And then I remembered; the mind reader. Oh great, he's heard every part of my internal rant. I looked up at them, looking at me- five pairs of eyes looking at me with pity. Pity? I was a wolf, the size of a lion. I had the power to kill their kind and they looked down on me with pity? The doctor's wife moved for the back door, and came outside.

"Leah?" She called to me "Why don't you come in and join us?" She said, holding the door open. My growl became a snarl. I AM NOT A STRAY DOG! I would have yelled at her. It was all too much. I would be a part of their sick charade no longer. I turned into the woods and began running. I had no idea where I was going; I just had to get out. I had to leave it all behind, get a fresh start. I had to be away from the vampires and their horrendous stench and their love that had turned my pack into pathetic, whimpering Maltese Terriers instead of the proud guardian warriors our fore fathers had been. But more than anything, I had to get away from that mind reader. I wanted to be alone with my pain for a change.

'Leah.' My name boomed through my consciousness on the back of the most pathetic Alpha my tribe had ever known.

'What do you want, Jacob?' I spat mentally at him, not bothering to slow my pace even a little. Let him try and run after me. I was fast when I was calm, but my rage had given me a new speed even I barely knew I had.

'Leah, stop.' My paws ground to a halt at the first command I had been issued since leaving Sam's pack.

'You have the nerve to order me?' His audacity was blinding, but I couldn't move.

'Leah, please?' He softened. I stood stock still in the cold snow as he closed the distance between us.

As he got closer to me, his inner peace and contentment started to push on me. It seeped in through our mental link, infecting me like a virus. I fought back the urge to throw up as he finally emerged from the trees.

'Where are you going?' I hated it when he asked questions he already knew the answer to. He knew me and he knew my mind, so he already knew I had no idea where I was going. He already knew I couldn't stay. I wanted him out of my head and there was only one way to do that. I shut my eyes and willed my body to change back into its human form. Moments later I stood before him, stark naked, my skin a sharp contrast to the snow. I had left my clothes back at the Cullen house, but I didn't care. It was his embarrassment, not mine, and a part of me grinned as his wolf features flushed and he looked away.

Eventually it became apparent I was not going to phase back and he stalked impatiently back to the tree line. I crossed my arms over my chest and waited for him to return in human form.

"I can't talk to you when you're like this, Leah." He said as he returned from the tree line, refusing to look me in the eye.

"Why?" I spat at him "Afraid your half breed bride wouldn't approve of you seeing another woman naked?"

"Aw, come on." He said, still looking at the ground. I dropped my arms to my hips and glared into the side of his skull.

"Just say what you came here to say, you ridiculous waste of Quileute blood." My venom snapped him out of his embarrassment and he finally looked up to meet my stare.

"You call me a waste of Quileute blood? You're the waste, Leah! You're a thorn in everyone's side, and right now you're embarrassing yourself!"

"Oh so you do care about your ancestry? I couldn't tell seeing as you're spitting in all their faces by playing the love-sick fool over that THING!" I screamed back at him. I was shaking with the rage of his betrayal. Jacob's eyes narrowed at me.

"Jealous, much?" he said.

Suddenly I was very glad I wasn't wearing clothes. I ran at him in a rage, phasing back to wolf form mid-air and knocked him to the ground. Before either of us knew what was happening my jaws were at his throat, poised just millimetres from his jugular veins, ready for the kill. A brief moment of panic flashed across his face before he threw me off and phased, shredding his clothing in the process. I leapt to my feet, but I was still dazed from what had just happened- I had nearly killed the Alpha male. I had barely had time to register the thought before Jake knocked me to the ground and stood over me, snarling from the depth of his throat. It was all too much for me and my wolf form just shrank away. I lay on my side in the snow a vulnerable human and I began to cry.

"Just let me go, Jake. You got your happily ever after; you all did." I sobbed, "Don't you get it? I don't fit anywhere here. I need to get out. I can't take anymore of you all rubbing your happiness in my face. All I want is to be left alone with my pain!" He stopped snarling, but he didn't let me up.

"Just let me go." I whispered.

After what seemed like an eternity he backed off me and trotted off towards the tree line. I didn't get up, I didn't phase back, I just lay in the snow, letting the years of pain flow from my eyes.

"I hope you find what you're looking for, Leah." I heard Jake's voice and realised he must have changed back to human once he was out of my sight.

"Look after Seth. Tell him I'm sorry." I sobbed into the snow.

"If you ever need us, you know where to look." He called to me, but I couldn't respond. I was lost in a sea of memory, my mind taking me back to a time before pain, a time when there was only Sam. I sobbed harder as I remembered the look on his face when he told me. I shook as I saw him walk away. I curled up into a ball as I saw him with Emily, and for the first time since I became a wolf, I was cold.


	2. Where Do I Go? I Do Not Know

Thank you to all who have read so far. I hope you enjoy the second installment! The third may take a little longer to write, but I feel it will be worth the wait :) please feel free to leave any comments and questions on how you think the character is developing and if you think I am holding true their behavior. I only read the Twilight books once ;) Well, enough rambling, enjoy.

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I stood in the woods just out-side the reservation, staring at the building that used to be my home. I could see my mum cooking dinner (lamb by the smell of it) and the sheriff lingering around the kitchen trying to help in a clueless way. It seemed even my mother had found someone to connect with. I knew I couldn't stay in La Push. I had to get away, but I knew nothing of where I was going. The whole world was open to me, but I had no direction. What was I supposed to do now? I stood in the tree line wondering what to say to my mum, and how to tell her I was leaving. I knew mum would worry, but I didn't feel sad about leaving. I had emptied all the sadness I had in me onto the forest floor- now all I had left was a grim determination. I would not squander the gift handed down to me, and I would prove them all wrong. I was not a waste.

It was going to be a few hours before I could get into the house without being noticed. While I was comfortable with Jake seeing me naked, I had reservations about walking across La Push in the nude. I tucked my paws underneath me and settled in to wait until my mum was asleep. While she knew I was a wolf, she wasn't entirely comfortable with me being the wolf in front of her. As I rested my head on my paws the strain of the last few days weighed on me and I began to doze.

No sooner had I drifted off than I snapped awake. I jumped to my feet immediately, summoning all my senses, scanning the forest for any sign of movement- scanning for the threat. Everything was normal, and I began to relax. I had been dreaming about something, but my sudden burst into consciousness meant I couldn't remember what. I sighed heavily; for me there was no such thing as a good dream anymore. I turned my attention back to my mum's house. Evidently I had been asleep for a few hours. The lights were all off, and I could hear her rhythmic breathing. She was asleep, and she was alone, I was sure of it. I was relieved, I knew my mum was a heavy sleeper, but the last thing I needed was the sheriff hearing something downstairs and coming to investigate.

I took a deep breath and readied myself for the run to the house. It was no more than four hundred meters, but it only took one person to see a giant wolf to start a panic amongst the community. I trotted back into the forest to get a running start, launched off my mark and ran as fast as I could for the back door of the house. I jumped all three steps in one bound, skidded to a halt and nosed the sliding door open, only phasing back to human form once inside. I held my breath and listened for any sign that someone was awake, but the peaceful community slept on. Relief washed over me, and I jogged silently up the stairs to my room. It was time to pack.

After an hour and a half later I had condensed everything I owned down to one duffle bag. Mostly clothes, a few pieces of jewellery, some photos and the six thousand dollars I had managed to save from my job over the last year. It was depressing. I walked over to my desk and grabbed a sheet of paper and a marker. I had decided I couldn't tell my mum I was leaving. If I told her in person there would be crying and she would try to talk me out of it. I was resolved on my decision, but I didn't want to see her heartache. I imagined the way her face would look. Her eyebrows would pinch together her lips would tighten and her eyes would no doubt search my face for the reason why, asking me what she had done wrong. I couldn't bear it so I started to scribble down a note.

Dear Mum,

I'm sorry but I have to go. I can't stay here in La Push anymore. There's nothing for me here. I need a fresh start. Please don't try to find me. Maybe I'll be back someday.

Love always,

Leah.

I grabbed my bag and my note and walked back into the hallway, deciding along the way I would call her when I got where I was going. I looked over my shoulder at my room for the last time. Suddenly I regretted crying all my tears for Sam back in the forest and wished idly that I had saved some for this moment. I shut my bedroom door and crept down the stairs. I left my note on the kitchen bench and hoisted my bag up onto my shoulder.

As I walked through the dining room I noticed the TV was still on. There was no volume but the picture showed an old Steven Segal movie. I paused for a moment and watched the action sequence. The actor was palming off his assailants attacks with fluid graceful moments. As I watched an idea struck me. I dropped my bag and turned on the old computer mum had connected to the Internet for Seth's school projects. I brought up the Google home page and typed into the engine: full time Aikido school. I grinned as the results sprang up and I had my answer and my goal.

Martial arts would certainly give me the control I so desperately needed over my transformation, and with my heightened senses and reflexes it wouldn't be too hard to master. Then I remembered my fight with Jake and a second thought occurred to me. If the alpha male was challenged and lost, he would lose his alpha status and the victor would be the new leader of the pack. That was how it worked in the animal kingdom, so why wouldn't it be the same with us? I grinned to myself. That was what I would do. When I became the alpha there would be no question as to my worth. I felt light and free. I would have my revenge on them all. I deleted the Internet history and shut down the computer. I glanced at my watch and saw it was one in the morning. There was a school in Maine and after a few rough calculations I estimated I could be there by sunrise.

I grabbed my bag and walked out the back door, back to the tree line. I took one last look at my home of twenty years, then stripped down and phased. I grabbed the handles of my bag with my teeth and began to run. For the first time in my life I was running towards something, rather than away from something. I had to admit, it felt good.


	3. Devil's Lake

Thanks again to everyone who has read and rated this story. The planned 3-4 chapters are blowing out significantly, but this story is writing itself and I don't have much control over it. And comments and reviews welcome as always :)

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I was halfway across the North Dakota when I realised two things that stopped me dead in my tracks. The first was that I had seriously underestimated how far it was to Maine, and the second was that I hadn't heard any chatter from the rest of my estranged pack for quite sometime. The sun was due to rise in half an hour and I was exhausted. I hadn't eaten in what felt like forever and I had been running for the past five hours. I trotted over to a nearby tree and lay down to catch my breath and ponder my solitary headspace. There was always the chance that Jake and Seth were still sleeping in human form. With the threat from the Volturi gone, and the truce with Sam's pack, there was no longer a need for the twenty-four hour piquet we had been running. But I couldn't shake the feeling it was more than that. Whether it was the physical distance I had put between us, or if the bond had broken when I asked Jake to let me go, I couldn't be sure. One thing I was sure of was that I would miss it a little if it were totally gone. Having the link to everyone was a double-edged sword. On the one hand, the constant stream of chatter could be tiresome and it was annoying to have everyone know my every thought. But on the other hand, it was a massive safety net and I knew that if there were ever trouble, someone would have my back.

I shook my head and climbed to my feet. I was as tired as anyone could get- physically and emotionally. I decided I needed a decent night's sleep, a shower and a hot meal. I needed to feel human again. I got up and sniffed tentatively at the air. Townships made a scent signature a mile wide and it wouldn't be too hard to find my way to somewhere small. I didn't want the hustle and bustle of a major city, just someplace to pass through quietly. Within no time I had the scent of a small township. I picked up my bag and began to run at a steady speed. I was too exhausted to maintain the flat out pace I had set since leaving La Push, but even my steady trot would be fast enough.

Not more than an hour later the sun had risen and I was sitting in some brush reading the sign by the highway on the outskirts of my destination: 'Welcome to Devil's Lake.' Man, I sure could pick them. I swallowed anxiously and looked around before shrinking back to my human form. Knowing I couldn't stalk into town looking like an oversized grey wolf, I had decided that I would take my chances with hitchhiking. At this time in the morning, for any other twenty-year-old female, it would be dangerous and risky. But any creepy trucker looking to press the issue with me would certainly be biting off more than he could chew. I chuckled to myself as I pulled on my shorts and boots; the thought of a trucker trying to fight off a giant wolf in his cab was definitely amusing. I had no idea what I looked like (probably hell) but I smoothed my hair out as best I could and set off in the direction of the highway into town.

It wasn't long before I heard the air brake of a decelerating truck engine, down shifting gears. I turned around and sure enough there was a bright red Mack truck rolling up to where I was standing. The passenger door popped open and I smiled as I climbed up the side of the truck, into the heated cab.

"Thanks for stopping." I said as I tossed my bag at my feet and reached for the seat belt.

"Mah pleasure," the truckie drawled as he selected his next gear. "Name's Chet, where you off to, anyhows?" It didn't take much guess work to figure out Chet was from Texas.

"Not far, just in to Devil's Lake." I replied. Chet wasn't what I had imagined when the rig pulled over. I was picturing a fat balding man in his late forties. Instead, Chet didn't look a day over twenty-five and he would have been lucky to weigh 180 pounds wringing wet. He still wore the obligatory blue singlet, flannel over-shirt and truckers cap, but he was the first 'normal' person I had met in quite sometime, and he looked pretty good to me.

"So, uh, you one o' dem Native Injins?" He asked, keeping his eyes on the road. Great, I thought to myself, just my luck I end up climbing in the cab of a racist Southerner.

"What gave it away?" I asked with a slight edge of sarcasm.

"Oh, I didn' mean no offence, you's just real pretty is all." He stammered. I looked at him and smiled

"I mean, you got dat brown skin, and dem black eyes," He glanced at me, checking to make sure I wasn't still offended, I guessed. "Though, you should grow your hair out a little, that boy cut you got makes you look angry." I reached up and felt the length of my hair. It really was short, and I had hated cutting it. I had only done it to be one of the pack, I hadn't minded it too much when my wolf hair had been shaggy.

"Maybe I will grow it out a little." I said, mostly to myself. Chet simply nodded his agreement from the driver's seat.

"So what's yer name, anyways?" He asked.

"Leah." I replied simply.

"Leuh, huh? That's nice. Where you headin' after Devil's Lake, Leuh?" He smiled at me, showing off the dimples in his cheeks. I returned his smile without even realising I was doing it- was he flirting with me? I wasn't sure, but I liked the way he said my name.

"I'm not quite sure just yet." I said, hesitant to tell him I was carrying everything I owned and going to Maine on a whim after Googling it at one in the morning.

"Dat's cool," Chet laughed "sometimes we doan know where we goin' 'til we get dere."

I sighed and leant back in the seat, still smiling to myself. Twenty-four hours earlier I was guarding a pack of vampires and preparing for the fight of a lifetime against an overwhelming force of even more vampires alongside twenty of my wolf brethren. Now I was sitting in a truck, halfway across the country with a cute guy and nobody inside my head but me.

"Well, this is Devil's Lake, in all her glory." Chet announced.

"Hey, uh, I been drivin' all night and I was gonna grab some grub. I was thinkin' maybe you might wanna come with?" Chet asked, rubbing the back of his neck, clearly shy and maybe a little embarrassed. I chewed my bottom lip for a second. Of course I had been warned about talking to strangers and there was no way anyone I knew would ever accept a breakfast date with a man they had just met off the side of the road. But Chet was nice, and it was better than eating alone.

"Sure," I said "Why not?" flashing a pearly grin at him.

"Well alright then!" Chet exclaimed, clearly pleased with my response.

"Hey, Ah know this place 'round here, makes the best blueberry pancakes in the world! Mah treat." He winked at me as he pulled the big truck into a truck stop on the edge of town.

"Oh I couldn't possibly, I'll pay for my own pancakes." I said, a little too quickly. I didn't want to give him the wrong impression.

"Suit yourself." He shrugged and I couldn't help but be a little hurt by his lack of disappointment. We jumped out of the truck and I grabbed my bag and threw it over my shoulder.

"You can leave that in the truck if you want." He called to me as I shut the door.

"Nah, it's cool." There was no way I was leaving all my worldly possessions in the truck of a complete stranger.

"Your call, but we gotta walk a block or so. Ain't too much off street parking for a B-Double." He grinned, thumbing back to the truck.

"I don't mind." I replied simply.

We walked in an awkward silence for a little while, neither of us knowing quite what to say to the other. It was difficult for me to meet someone completely new- someone I had nothing in common with. Everyone else I had ever met was either a relative, or a friend, of someone I already knew at La Push. I looked over at Chet trying to think of a question that wouldn't sound naïve or stupid.

"So, you look pretty young to be a trucker?" That was the best I could come up with. As we walked into the diner Chet told me he was doing the run from Seattle to Minnesota for his 'Paw' who had fallen ill. Thankfully my question got him talking about trucking and a few of the runs he had done for his dad. As our blueberry pancakes arrived he told me stories about trying to stay awake and all kinds of funny people he had met along the way. I laughed casually and began to relax. It was nice to be in the company of someone who was completely normal for a change. I guessed it was because it allowed me to feel as if I were completely normal- at least for a little while.

Beatrice, the waitress, dropped the cheque on the table as I stifled a yawn. I had a full stomach and I was warm, but I still needed a shower and a bed.

"Excuse me," I asked her politely, as I pulled a crumpled twenty-dollar note from my pocket "is there a hotel nearby?" Beatrice looked me over with a judgemental eye as she popped her gum.

"You'll want the super 8. One block down that way." She pointed up the street.

"Thanks." I mumbled, more than a little embarrassed by my dishevelled appearance. I drained my coffee cup and looked across the table at Chet.

"Well, thanks for the lift," I said as I stood from the table "And thanks for having breakfast with me." I added as an afterthought.

"Mah, pleasure." He winked at me

"Hey, you want me to walk ya?" He offered looking in the direction on the Super 8.

"Uh, no. I'll be alright, thanks." I said feeling a bit awkward.

"I thawt maybe you might like some company?" He continued. Apparently Chet had been flirting with me after all. I liked him, he was nice and he was cute, but he wasn't an imprint and I wasn't that sort of girl. Not to mention the fact that I hadn't been with anyone since I had become the wolf. There was no telling what could happen.

"I'm not that kind of girl," I whispered looking at the floor and feeling my face burn hot "I gotta go."

"Hey, Leuh wait!" He called to me, but I was already out the door and walking as fast as I could up the street. I had so many emotions flying through my head it was hard to keep track of them all. Firstly I was flattered by Chet's attentions, and proud that someone had seen me as something other than one of the pack. Someone had finally registered to the fact that I was a woman and he was attracted to me. Then I was angry that he thought I would be that easy- did people really fall into bed together having known each other only a few hours? Then I was self-conscious, wondering if I had given him the wrong signals. Then I wondered what it might have been like, to have a seedy fling in a cheap hotel and never see the guy again. Thoughts raced around and around my head until I felt dizzy and exhausted. I knew one thing for certain- I was very, very tired.


	4. Shaman Dreams

I felt like the walking dead by the time I stepped inside the studio room. I dropped my bag on the floor at my feet and locked the door behind me. $50 a night didn't buy much, but there was a double bed and a small bathroom, so compared to where I had been living, it was the Hilton. I pulled the curtains and made my way to the shower. As I pulled my boots off I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror. I really did look like hell. My hair was a mess, my eyes were bloodshot and there were bags under my eyes. My skin was dry and my body ached all over. Thanks to the wolf, there were no bruises or grazes, no marks of any kind- I could tell all the aching and bruising was internal. But it was a different kind of aching. It wasn't the emotional longing I had resigned myself to; it was different. It could have been the physical exhaustion, but even though I looked like hell and I was tired, I felt alive. I couldn't help but smile a little to myself.

Still smiling I turned the hot water on and waited for it to gain temperature. In my haste to leave La Push I had completely forgotten to pack any of my favourite soaps and shampoos, so I raided the complementary basket that sat on the sink.

"You'll have to do." I murmured to the tiny bottles, making a mental note to go shopping as soon as I could. When I got to the school in Maine I wanted to be presentable. It wouldn't be right to look like a dishevelled beggar. I stepped under the flow of water and immediately felt the tension and anxiety of the last week wash from me and run down the plughole. It was heaven. The soap smelled like cinnamon, and the shampoo smelt like cherry blossoms. I drank in the scents as if they were vintage champagne and by the time the water ran cold I felt relaxed and human once more.

I stepped out of the shower and wrapped the motel towel around myself. I wiped the condensation from the mirror and once again looked at my reflection. Chet was right. My 'boy cut' did make my features look severe and angry. I pulled at the two-inch strands and decided to grow it into a bob. A bob would look nice but at the same time, it wouldn't be too hard to control when I phased. I quickly pulled on a singlet and tucked myself under the covers. The mattress and the sheets seemed to cradle me and I fell asleep almost immediately.

Almost every time I slept, regardless of my form, I dreamt as the wolf. Today was no exception. I was running through the forest, feeling the wind tugging at my coat, leaping over fallen logs and ducking around trees, when suddenly I smelt something strange. I stopped to sniff the air trying to locate the origin of the unfamiliar scent. I found the trail and followed it, curious as to what could have been making such an odd scent. I followed it into a small clearing where a campfire burned, and suddenly I was very alarmed. Had I stumbled onto some campers?

"Do not be afraid, grey friend, there is no danger here." Came a voice carried on the wind. I turned around, feeling the voice had come from behind me, but there was nobody there. Puzzled and slightly irritated, I jumped back around to face the fire. There he stood, an old man, wearing the pelt of a white wolf, with the wolf's head atop his own. The man stood unassumingly, but power, confidence and peace rolled off him in waves. I knew immediately he was one of the ghosts of my ancestors. He shuffled forward and took a seat beside the fire, rubbing his hands and toasting them against the flames. I stared at him, captivated and awe struck. The man peered across at me, his black eyes almost hidden beneath the deep wrinkles in his face. His thin lips sagged down at the edges in a natural frown, giving him the look of someone with a wealth of knowledge and wisdom. His snowy hair was long and tied into twin braids with coloured cotton wrapped around them. He wore no beads, no feathers, or jewellery of any kind. It was at that moment I realised; he must have been a shaman. Immediately I dipped my head in respect.

"Leah, daughter of Clearwater, and child of the Quileute people," he stated, "You are seeking something." I peered at him through my wolf eyes, not knowing what to do or how to communicate with him. I had only ever heard of Shamans before, never had I seen one, in a dream or otherwise.

"Find your voice, wolf. Tell me what you seek." He said, gazing back at me with ink black eyes. I opened my mouth, but the words would not form. Frustrated I tried to project my thought the way I would with one of the pack.

"I seek peace, and power." My thoughts twisted trough the air, enunciated in a melodic way that wasn't entirely my own. The old Shaman closed his eyes and began to chant into the fire. He waved his arms slowly and smoothly through the smoke in an ancient dance, rocking back and forth on his seat. I stared intently at him, hypnotised by his graceful movements.

Abruptly he froze, carrying his final note for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually his eyes opened and I saw a great sadness in their depths. Suddenly I felt like crying, I didn't want to know what he was going to say.

"There cannot be both." He shook his head and got up to leave.

"Wait!" I called to him, my thought-voice tainted with panic. What did he mean? The shaman paused, his back turned to me. I tried desperately to phrase a question for him. I had to know. But my thoughts wouldn't organise themselves. Suddenly, the Shaman phased into a great white wolf and with speed that belied his years, he launched through the flames at me, snarling viscously.

I woke screaming and sat bolt upright in the bed. Reality returned to me and I quickly clamped a hand over my mouth. I was hyperventilating and my pulse was pounding in my throat like an animal begging to be released. I squeezed my eyes shut and focused on trying to regulate my breathing.

"It was just a dream." I reassured myself as I sucked in big deep breaths. A dream where a powerful spirit had told me I wouldn't achieve my goal. I threw back the covers and went to the window of my pokey hotel room. The sun had set while I was asleep and it was night in the sleepy town of Devil's Lake. I heard the Shaman's voice once more in my head: There cannot be both. I rested my head against the cool glass of the window and sighed. Nobody said life was easy, but why did it have to be this damned hard? A dream visit from a Shaman was not something to be taken lightly- I didn't have to be an elder to know that. There cannot be both. I stood up straight and sucked in the biggest breath my lungs could accommodate. Well, I could always try. Even if I failed, I had to try. What other option did I have?

With my newfound sense of determination I packed my things back in my bag and marched out the front door. I needed to find a steakhouse for dinner, and then… I was going to Maine.


	5. Firebird

Even the best-laid plans go wrong, and my plan hadn't been the best laid in the first place. I was somewhere between Devil's Lake and Grand Forks, when the remnants of a grade school geography lesson surfaced in my brain. The Great Lakes were scattered with major and minor cities. I slowed down to a walk to ponder my situation. Even if I could skirt all the cities and towns, I still had to cross highways and back roads and I didn't have time to stop every five minutes and scout for traffic. Damn. I began pacing around in circles trying to decide what to do. I could catch a bus, but the thought of being trapped inside a tin can with wheels for two or three days was somewhat less than appealing. I needed a car, and that meant dipping into my savings. I should've raided the Cullen house before I left. They always had wads of cash floating around. No. I automatically dismissed the thought. I was making it on my own. I would have to try and pick up a cheap car in Grand Forks. I growled at the thought of a town named Grand Forks. My past had followed me half way across the continental US. Not wanting to dip any further into my savings, I decided to find somewhere to wait out the night.

"Thanks for the lift." I smiled to the nice elderly couple that had given me a lift into Grand Forks. I waved as they drove away, only dropping the smile when they had faded into the morning traffic. They had spent the entire ride giving me a harsh lecture on why it wasn't safe for someone like me to be hitch hiking- it was tiring at best, but at the same time it was sweet that they cared enough to try.

I gazed up at the sign of the second hand car dealership they had dropped me at- 'Wheelin and Dealin- second hand cars for the financially conscious.' It sounded like the place I needed to be. I stretched out, hoisted my bag onto my shoulder and made my way into to car yard. I paused at a big old Chevy truck that looked to be in decent condition. I scowled as I thought of another big Chevy truck; the one Billy had given to Bella. Now she was cruising around in a Ferrari, paid for with her soul. I kept walking through the yard. There was a multitude of late model Saturns and Neons, but none of them really appealed to me. Then I saw it, a 1983 two-door Pontiac Firebird. I grinned to myself. I could definitely see myself behind the wheel. The red paint was faded and there was a large dent in the rear quarter, but it looked perfect to me.

"Can I help you?" Came the inevitable voice of the car salesman.

"Yeah," I said, not taking my eyes off the firebird "how much for this one?" I peered in the driver's side at the interior. There was a tear in the passenger seat vinyl and the carpet in the foot wells was worn almost bare.

"This one? Well she's a real beauty. 83,000 miles on the clock, though the engine and gearbox were rebuilt at 60,000. Manual gearbox, which is rare for this model…" I tuned out to the rest of the sales pitch; manual gearboxes were no more rare than automatics. He continued to talk about the car as he opened the door and popped the bonnet for me. I lifted the heavy hood and gazed at the engine inside. The guy was right, clearly it had been rebuilt recently, and it even had the V8 inside.

"… I'll let you take her off the lot for $1300." The salesman finished. I looked at him with the best 'you mist be kidding' expression I could muster. When he didn't say anything I glanced at the car and back at him.

"Seriously now, how much?" I asked him.

"Uh, well, it has been rebuilt recently, mechanically it's A1." He reasoned.

"I'll give you $900 for it, and not a dollar more." I told him firmly.

"I couldn't possibly let it go for less than $1100." He shook his head. I ran a finger along the doorsill, gathering a swath of dust as I went.

"Looks like it's been here for a while, mustn't be too many people interested in a car as old as this, what with the panel damage and all. But if you aren't keen to move it, I guess I'll have to find another dealership." I said as I made my way back to the front gate.

"$1050?" He called to me. I stopped walking and grinned to myself. $1050 was a bargain.

"$1000, cash." I said as I turned back around. Silently thanking the fuel conscious age we lived in. The salesman agonized over my offer for a few seconds.

"$1000." He finally nodded. "Damned, global warming's been driving the value of these cars down for years." My wolf ears heard him mumble under his breath as he walked towards the office to get my keys. I grinned and picked my way through the lot after him.

Fifteen minutes later I was the proud owner of a classic Pontiac Firebird. It didn't matter to me that it was dented and rusty and had basically been neglected for the last few years or so. If anything it meant the car and I had something in common. I felt a sudden pang of sorrow for the car. It too had been cast aside when it was no longer of use to its owner. No doubt the previous owner had fallen for something newer, or prettier, or more modern. I shook my head violently, trying to dislodge the thoughts that were gathering there. Either way, if I found the time and the money in Maine, maybe I would put some work into the old girl. A little panel beating and some paint and who knew, maybe she could really shine.

I finally cleared the outer limits of Grand Forks and slipped onto the highway heading south. I had to head down before I could go across. As the amount of cars on the highway thinned out, I planted my foot on the accelerator. The Firebird's engine jumped into action and quickly gained speed. Driving the Firebird was amazing. I had driven my mum's car into Forks and back a hundred times and I had driven friends' Civics and Broncos around, but the power the Firebird gave me was something new. The sound of the wheels on the road, the feel of the wind as it whipped in the open window, everything about the car and the day made me feel like I could just blast down the highway forever.

I reached over to the passenger seat and grabbed the sunglasses I had picked up from a servo on the way out of town. The sun was beating down and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. I grinned as I tuned in the radio and popped open a can of Red Bull. It just felt like a good day to be alive.


End file.
